I know it’s true only thing we can count on is change itself. And the winds of change are stirring in many places from my viewshed. It adds to the quieting that Fall already brings, beautiful in its descend toward winter and the cycle of death and rebirth that is the most jarring for me — both in and out of Winter’s sleep. It seems fitting that the changes would come now somehow.
Two years ago in November MollyMare the Morgan came to live in my herd along with her human who is a like minded horsewoman and close friend of mine. At the time I wondered about the loss that change would bring: giving up my solo, quiet and autonomous barn life by introducing another horse and human into the mix. Today as they have both officially left the herd to move 5 hours south the loss of their presence is palpable and I can’t imagine how the place will be without them.
I recently listened to a ‘Wild at Heart’ podcast where John and Blaine Eldridge talked about how we humans always perceive change initially as loss. It is true, I see a loss of a herdmate, loss of a barn buddy, loss of a riding companion, and loss of a helper who was a wonderful support system or extra hands or someone to keep the herd alive when I was out of town… loss of laughter, loss of conversation and someone to bounce off training questions or equine health snafus… it is not an illusion: there is loss.
However change always brings with it opportunity as well. I know in this case our friendship is a deep heart bond and will last through the move. It is not the loss of a friend. We will still laugh and pick each other’s brains but now through phone calls and texts. The fact that she moved south already has my interest pricked at doing some winter training in her area and some road trips might do us good. I have heard the word expansion echoing in my soul since the news came and there is a knowing that this change isn’t all bad and loss forever. It’s hard to know yet what the new opportunities will be.
I have challenged myself to hold the two competing feelings in the same heart and not to wallow in sadness because I know good things and joy will come- yet the knowledge that there will be positive facets to this change doesn’t release me from facing the sense of loss and allow the honest mourning nonetheless.
It reminded me of how Jesus wept at the death of Lazarus even though he knew there would be triumph and even an immediate miraculous raising of the man from the dead. I think he wept for the loss he felt when death takes temporarily away from our immediate world, and he also wept for his friends and the loss they suffered. Even if we know joy comes in the morning, we still can honestly weep in the darkness. And I find it comforting to know that Jesus weeps with us too.
I am grateful that Iva – a young woman who used to occasionally come along and crew for me with Khaleesi when she was a violin student is back in the local area in part due to Covid and she has been coming once a week to ride with me. She is also likeminded to the approach I have with my horses and they like and trust her too.
Also I ran into- actually it was the other way around– a mountain biker in the spring while exploring some trails he helps to maintain. In our time together we enjoy a shared love of the trails but also of horses. He doesn’t have much experience but loves the horses and also comes out at least once a week to the barn to learn about horsemanship and riding and it’s become one of the days we spend together each week.
I spent a fair amount of time helping Molly mare and her human gain confidence and tools as she hadn’t had her own horse in many years. The lovely Morgan was quite a project both mentally and physically and I enjoyed helping the two along with whatever knowledge I could impart.
I am really excited to learn this move has gone smoothly for them, and the deep foundational work they did on their relationship means this transition has not been overly stressful on either of them. Molly is secure in her owners care and seems to really know this.
Now besides my two wonderful riding companions I wonder if this place left open in their absence may find some filling helping others as well. I do hope so as sharing what I’ve picked up deepening my own horse-human relationships is a passion that burns brighter than most others for me. I will be keeping my eyes open for what that may look like as well.
Meanwhile as I consider developing long term some content that could be of use to a wider audience, I have a survey to ask what your frustrations, challenges, fears, hopes and dreams with horses are. Please click the link and take the very short survey but even more helpful is to share it with any horse people you know. I’d like to know how GreenTo100 can help readers with real video examples of relationship building over topics we all work with in our horseworld.
The survey is short, takes a minute or so and has 5 questions that ask what your goals are and what your challenges are or where you’d most like to improve. There’s no catch or collection of personal information it’s only to see what people would find most helpful as a starting point. It would mean a lot for me to see feedback from my readers!
Thanks in advance!